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12.09.08 | Upper-Intermediate | Victoria Kulko

One day we decided to travel to London.

- It will be great! – we thought and went to the railway station to buy tickets. We bought two tickets and began preparing for our trip. We packed two pair of checked coats (all people of GB dress in checked coats, of cause), two umbrellas (there is always rain, of cause) and complete set of Shakespeare (we prepared to visit Globe).

When the time came we went to the railway station and got on the coach. Coach was very strange. It had a very sinister look. Wild stench was in the air. Windows were so dirty that passengers couldn’t see the view. Doors squeaked like a displeased dead man. Children were crying all way long without any adequate reason. Adults were sitting with absolutely glassed eyes. Some people were sleeping and saliva was dropping on their breasts. Sometime later a strange cripple with crosswords entered in our coach and children began to cry much more.

Five  hours later locomotive driver asked for free coaches. It was quite strange because the way to London takes more than twenty-four hours.
- It's nothing! – we thought and said «Good afternoon» to the first comer Englishmen. Englishmen went very quickly without any questions.
- We must improve our English, of cause! – we thought with sorrow. 
- How can we get to Globe? – we asked the next stranger with a true English pronunciation.

- Pashka? Globa? Tak vin ge tut davno vge g ne give… - a local citizen answered to us without any hint of English.

The name of that homestead was Poddon (full name is Gnilij Poddon). You find it easily between Shepetovka and Gmerenka. Or – if bought tickets in kiev ticket office where deaf cashier sits.